Big Jokes (7)

Elephant jokes

What to you get if you cross a parrot with an elephant?
An animal that tells you everything that it remembers!

What is a baby elephant after he is five weeks old?
Six weeks old!

What did the elephant say when the man grabbed him by the tail?
This is the end of me!

Policeman: "One of your elephants has been seen chasing a man on a bicycle."
Zoo Keeper: "Nonsense, none of my elephants knows how to ride a bicycle!"

Why do the elephants have short tails?
Because they can't remember long stories!

How to you keep an elephant in suspense?
I'll tell you tomorrow!

"Dad, Mum is fighting with an enormous elephant in the garden!"
"Don't worry dear, I'm sure the elephant can look after itself!"

My elephants got no trunk?
How does it smell?
Terrible!

What do elephants sing at christmas?
Noel-ephants, Noel-ephants...

Who do elephants get their christmas presents from?
Elephanta Claus!

How do you hire an elephant?
Stand it on four bricks!

What is the easy way to get a wild elephant?
Get a tame one and annoy it!

What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming?
Here come the elephants!

Why is an elephant braver than a hen?
Because the elephant isn't chicken!

What is worse than raining cats and dogs?
Raining elephants!

How are elephants and hippopotanuses alike?
Neither can play basketball!

How do you stop an angry elephant from charging?
Take away it's credit cards!

What did the baby elephant get when the daddy elephant sneezed?
Out of the way!

How do you raise a baby elephant?
With a fork lift truck!

What's the best way to see a charging herd of elephants?
On television!

Why don't elephants like playing cards in the jungle?
Because of all the cheetahs!

What do you call a elephant that never washes?
A smellyphant!

Teacher: "Where would you find an elephant?"
Pupil:"You don't have to find them, they're too big to lose!"

What do you call an elephant with a carrot in each ear?
Anything you want as he can't hear you!


Teacher:"To which family does the elephant belong?"
Pupil:"I don't know, nobody I know owns one!"

How do you spell elephant?
E-l-l-e-e-f-a-n-t"That's not how the dictionary spells it"

"You didn't ask me how the dictionary spelt it!"
Teacher: "Name six wild animals"
Pupil:"Four elephants and two lions!"

What do you call an elephant that lies across the middle of a tennis court?
Annette!
Bill: "My homework is really difficult tonight, I've to write an essay on an elephant."?
Bert: "Well, for a start your going to need a big ladder.."

Why do elephants do well in school?
Because they have a lot of grey matter!