Big Jokes (1)

Elephant Related

What' s big and grey with horns?
An elephant marching band!

What's yellow on the outside and grey on the inside?
An elephant disguised as a banana!

What's big, grey and flies straight up?
An elecopter!

What's grey, carries a bunch of flowers and cheers you up when your ill?
A get wellephant!

What's grey and never needs ironing?
A drip dry elephant!

What's big and grey and red?
A sunburnt elephant!

What did the hotel manager say to the elephant that couldn't pay his bill?
"Pack your trunk and clear out!"

How do you get an elephant into a matchbox?
Take all the matches out first!

What weighs 4 tons and is bright red?
An elephant holding its breath!

What' s grey, has four legs and jumps up and down?
An elephant on a trampoline!

What's grey and wrinkly and jumps every twenty seconds?
An elephant with hiccups!

What's grey and goes round and round?
An elephant in a washing machine!

What's grey and highly dangerous?
An elephant with a machine gun!

What's big and grey and lives in a lake in Scotland?
The Loch Ness Elephant!

What's big and grey and has 16 wheels?
An elephant on roller skates!

What goes up slowly and comes down quickly?
An elephant in a lift!

What's as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?
An elephant's shadow!

What grey, has a wand, huge wings and gives money to elephants?
The tusk fairy!

What has 3 tails, 4 trunks and 6 feet?
An elephant with spare parts!

What's grey but turns red?
An embarrassed elephant!

What's grey, beautiful and wears glass slippers?
Cinderelephant!

When should you feed milk to a baby elephant?
When it's a baby elephant!

How do you know when there is an elephant under your bed?
When your nose touches the ceiling!

What do you call an elephant that flies?
A jumbo jet!

What did the grape say when the elephant stood on it?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine!

Why did the elephant paint his toenails red?
So he could hide in the cherry tree!

What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?
Big holes all over Australia!

What's the difference between a sick elephant and seven days?
One is a weak one and the other one week!

What pill would you give to an elephant that can't sleep?
Trunkquilizers!

Why are elephants grey?
So you can tell them from flamingos!

Elephant Keeper: "My Elephant isn't well, do you know a good animal doctor?" Zoo Keeper: "No, all the doctors I know are people!"

Why do elephants scratch themselves?
Because they're the only ones who know where they itch!

How does an elephant get down from a tree?
He sits on a leaf and waits till autumn!

Why did the elephant paint himself with different colours?
Because he wanted to hide in the colouring box!

How do you know that peanuts are fattening?
Have you ever seen a skinny elephant?