Scarlett Johansson

Cat Related

(1) Q: What's a cat's favorite food?
A: Petatoes!

(2) Q: What kind of work does a weak cat do?
A: Light mouse work.

(3) Q: What kind of cats lay around the house?
A: Car-pets!

(4) Q: What's a cat's second favorite food?
A: Spa-catti!

(5) Q: Why do dogs bury bones in the ground?
A: Because you can't bury them in the sky!

(6) Q: How do cats buy things?
A: From a cat-alogue!

Elepahant-Jokes

(1) Why does an elephant take a shower?
Because he can't fit in the bathtub!

(2) How do you stop an elephant from charging?
By removing his batteries!

(3) How do you tell if you have passed an elephant?
He didn't flush.

(4) Why do elephants wear pink tennis shoes?
Because white ones get dirty too fast.

(5) Why do elephants have wrinkled knees?
From playing marbles.

(6) Why elephants are colored grey?
So you can tell them from canaries.

(7) Why don't more elephants go to college?
Not too many elephants finish high school.

(8) Why do elephants live in the jungle?
Because it's out of the high rent district.

(9) How do you put six elephants in a Volkswagen?
Three in front and three in back.

(10) How do you put six elephants in a Volkswagen?
Three in front and three in back.

(11) What did the banana say to the elephant?
Nothing, bananas can't talk.

(12) Why do elephants squirt water through their noses?
If they squirted it through their tails, it'd be very difficult to aim.
(13) Why do elephants jump across rivers?
So they won't step on the fish.

Jennifer Aniston

I Love You

Leeann Tweeden

Faith-Hill

Kelly-Clarkson