(1) Q: What's a cat's favorite food?
A: Petatoes!
(2) Q: What kind of work does a weak cat do?
A: Light mouse work.
(3) Q: What kind of cats lay around the house?
A: Car-pets!
(4) Q: What's a cat's second favorite food?
A: Spa-catti!
(5) Q: Why do dogs bury bones in the ground?
A: Because you can't bury them in the sky!
(6) Q: How do cats buy things?
A: From a cat-alogue!
Showing posts with label Jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jokes. Show all posts
Friday, March 23, 2007
Elepahant-Jokes
(1) Why does an elephant take a shower?
Because he can't fit in the bathtub!
(2) How do you stop an elephant from charging?
By removing his batteries!
(3) How do you tell if you have passed an elephant?
He didn't flush.
(4) Why do elephants wear pink tennis shoes?
Because white ones get dirty too fast.
(5) Why do elephants have wrinkled knees?
From playing marbles.
(6) Why elephants are colored grey?
So you can tell them from canaries.
(7) Why don't more elephants go to college?
Not too many elephants finish high school.
(8) Why do elephants live in the jungle?
Because it's out of the high rent district.
(9) How do you put six elephants in a Volkswagen?
Three in front and three in back.
(10) How do you put six elephants in a Volkswagen?
Three in front and three in back.
(11) What did the banana say to the elephant?
Nothing, bananas can't talk.
(12) Why do elephants squirt water through their noses?
If they squirted it through their tails, it'd be very difficult to aim.
(13) Why do elephants jump across rivers?
So they won't step on the fish.
Because he can't fit in the bathtub!
(2) How do you stop an elephant from charging?
By removing his batteries!
(3) How do you tell if you have passed an elephant?
He didn't flush.
(4) Why do elephants wear pink tennis shoes?
Because white ones get dirty too fast.
(5) Why do elephants have wrinkled knees?
From playing marbles.
(6) Why elephants are colored grey?
So you can tell them from canaries.
(7) Why don't more elephants go to college?
Not too many elephants finish high school.
(8) Why do elephants live in the jungle?
Because it's out of the high rent district.
(9) How do you put six elephants in a Volkswagen?
Three in front and three in back.
(10) How do you put six elephants in a Volkswagen?
Three in front and three in back.
(11) What did the banana say to the elephant?
Nothing, bananas can't talk.
(12) Why do elephants squirt water through their noses?
If they squirted it through their tails, it'd be very difficult to aim.
(13) Why do elephants jump across rivers?
So they won't step on the fish.
Saturday, March 3, 2007
Random art related short stories & short funny jokes
(1) How many artists does it take to change a light bulb?Ten. One to change it, and nine to reassure him about how good it looks.How many modern artists does it take to change a light bulb?Four. One to throw bulbs against the wall, one to pile hundreds of them in a heap and spray-paint it orange, one to glue light bulbs to a cocker spaniel, and one to put a bulb in the socket and fill the room with light while all the critics and buyers are watching the fellow smashing the bulbs against the wall, the fellow with the spray-gun, and the cocker spaniel.
(2) Mona Lisa The Mona Lisa was brought up in court on charges of murder, but it turned out that she'd been framed... --------------------------------------
(3) Van Gough in a Bar Vincent van Gough walks into a bar, and the bartender asks him if he's like a drink."No thanks," says Vincent, "I've got one 'ere." --------------------------------------
(4) How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?Two. One to hold the giraffe and the other to fill the bathtub with brightly colored machine tools.Two. One to change it and one to throw a bucket of water out the window.Fish.How many visitors to an art gallery does it take to change a light bulb?Two. One to do it and one to say "Huh! My four-year old could've done that!"
(4)
(2) Mona Lisa The Mona Lisa was brought up in court on charges of murder, but it turned out that she'd been framed... --------------------------------------
(3) Van Gough in a Bar Vincent van Gough walks into a bar, and the bartender asks him if he's like a drink."No thanks," says Vincent, "I've got one 'ere." --------------------------------------
(4) How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?Two. One to hold the giraffe and the other to fill the bathtub with brightly colored machine tools.Two. One to change it and one to throw a bucket of water out the window.Fish.How many visitors to an art gallery does it take to change a light bulb?Two. One to do it and one to say "Huh! My four-year old could've done that!"
(4)
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